Social life is difficult. Integrating oneself into a new environment involves meeting the systems and communities within and learning how to interact with them is taught to be a second nature for humans, yet for some reason I’ve always found it to be difficult. As I transferred to a new school, I decided that maybe it the time arrived where I should redesign myself to not be as scared of this. Beginning with the first day of move-in, it went pretty well. I made a few friends with people on my floor, hung out with some old friends, got out to explore the city.
These were things I missed about being at school from my previous year of school. The hustle of the city, the somewhat claustrophobic atmosphere that is difficult to breath yet clean and steady, the beige washed layers of brick on almost every building built before the 2000s. All of these factors culminate together to brand the image of the city I had grown to consider my second home, a place to find myself for the first time.
Yes again, I find myself struggling to open up to others in a way that is healthy for both myself the opposite party. I know I should not hide who I am, it will only cause me more harm further down the line than being honest would. Part of me is recovering from recent traumas still, wounds which no matter how much I treat them refuse to close. The simple concept of being honest with who you are can be a dangerous one, even if you choose to share it only with those you wish to, since people talk no matter how much you trust them.
That’s all I got for now, signing off.
Keep it golden,